Today is a great day... I have been housebound and partially immobile for over 48 hours. During this time I haven't had one visitor. I have however taken two baths, I love baths... not as fun as they are in other peoples houses but still fun altogether. I fell over a few times in what could describe as character building moments, dinner time was fun,
agonizingly as I cheerfully slaved over the cooker in an attempt to make fajitas balancing on one leg. SUPER! Biting into undercooked, jelly-like, chicken with oozing bloody corners wasn't so cheerful. I fucked it all in the bin and proceeded to have a full blown I'm-the-angriest-person-in-the-world attack. Afraid that my crippled-ness would be accompanied by stomach cramps, vomiting and diarrhoea I sat in fear for the next hour or so waiting for the onset of salmonella poisoning. Thankfully, after months of my house-mates midnight cooking fests my stomach has become immune to undercooked, contaminated meats.
However, salvation comes in the form of my dearest mother who is flying over this evening to take care of her useless good-for-nothing 23 year old baby who is inept at everything.
Hooray for Mammies.