Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Why am I so clumsy?

I'm suffering from Dyspraxia.

And it's terminal.

One day I will fall over and that will be it! Gonzo. Last night I tripped over my own foot! What is more embarrassing is that I did it whilst trying to
discretely run in order to catch up with someone I wanted to talk to. The fall happened outside the club in front of the entire smoking area population (which is always a pretty substantial number) CRINGE! What is worse is just at the moment of impact of my body to the floor the person turns round and just catches me snotting myself completely and utterly in the most hilarious fashion. I could have died... but instead they helped me up off the floor as I asked 'Is everyone laughing at me?' and they whispered 'eh yeeeah... they are.' So I began to laugh too as seriously there was no way of pretending this didn't just happen in front of about 50 people and I hobbled to the door. I had soon realised I may be completely crippled but I shrugged off people's worries of 'heeeeeeeey your limping pretty bad... will I call you a cab?'.... No no I said, I'm totally fine.

Half an hour later...I've noticed the EXCRUCIATING pain seeping through my vodka AND wine intoxication. My foot is bleeding... so is my knee and I've actually torn right through my leggings. If I don't get in a taxi I may faint... I dart off from my new found friends and leg it as fast as my little banjaxed legs will carry me.

I wake up this morning with a broken foot! Crutches AGAIN!!!

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