Sunday, October 11, 2009


Well last night I confessed to a 'crime'? I'll say crime because I'm not sure of the legalities of taking a bath in someones house without their knowledge. Sooooo lets rewind back the the Summer of 2007. I was in a reckless place and living with two guys and their seven lizards. I was living in a shithole. A memorable shithole but we'll get into that some other day when I have less time.

So back to the story... a few years ago I took a bath in someones house. Now this would have been completely normal if A. The person was in the house B. I had asked them or C. I knew them really reaaaaaalllly well and they were kinda like family to me.

Unfortunately none of the aforementioned factors apply to my story. Insert worried face here.

I had only really known this person for a day even though we had met previously (not that I remembered but they kindly informed me about several occasions where we had) but we did have dozens of mutual friends if that makes this story any less creepy. But I feel the next part will completely blow any chance of that right out of the water.

Not only was our companionship merely hours old but the person wasn't even in the house!!!!! and as events occurred my spontaneous bath didn't really leave the opportunity for permission.

So yes... I did take the opportunity that morning as the poor unawares person left the house in a hurried rush to the Oxygen festival to take a long leisurely soak in their bath tub. Taking the phrases make yourself at home to a whole new low.

I remember feeling quite odd that morning a I lay in this strange bathtub and was almost frightened by my own insanity. But there was something quite hilarious about having a bath in someones house and them never having any knowledge of it.

Until.... LAST NIGHT. Where after a good few double vodka's to loosen one's tongue I thought I'd tell the person about this bath. And how I had made myself oh so comfortable in there domestic surroundings without them ever knowing.

Thankfully they found this funnier more than anything but the worst part is that they then informed me that they themselves had never actually had a bath in that house because the previous occupant had been found dead in it years before. I actually feel sick and hope that they were just pulling my leg in revenge for my psychotic soaking!!!!

This is probably the weirdest thing I have ever done in my life.


  1. i was with you the day after this happened! i knows who's bath it is!!

  2. Hahahahahahaha!!!! Brilliant... what did we do the day after??